How to fix this conversation, part 2
February 27, 2011 1 Comment
I have another sample conversation I’d like to invite you to weigh in on. What advice would you give this couple? How could this conversation go differently?
One evening, they went out to a romantic dinner that Tim had planned. They had a great time at dinner, holding hands and talking as friends, and each thought about making love later that night. Then they got into the car to drive to the ballpark to see a baseball game. On the way there, Tim’s BlackBerry rang, and he decided to answer it, thinking it might be the baby-sitter. However, it turned out it was his mom. When the lengthy phone call ended, Samantha confronted Tim.
SAMANTHA: Why do you always let her interfere with our relationship? This is our evening out.
TIM: (really hot under the collar) There you go again, blasting me when we’re going out to have fun for a change.
SAMANTHA: (sounding indignant) Well, I didn’t know we were planning on bringing your mother with us.
TIM: (words dripping with sarcasm) Ha, ha. Real funny, Sam.
See answer here.
he was going to bed early, however the next day on face-book his ex potsed up pictures of him and her and a couple of old high-school friends playing pool. I confronted him about the lie, and he said he just wanted to see his old high-school friends but knew I would be upset if I found out she was there. I was very upset that he lied to me. The next big event that happened the following year, is I found an email written to ex, saying Camilla, I decided that if i wanted to get an email from you, I would have to take initiative and write one first. So how was the wedding? I hope it wasn’t secretly yours, because I would be DEVASTATED to if you did not invite me to such an event, much less partake. But the real reason i’m writing this email is to find out when your going to be in town next, so we can hopefully hang out for more than 2 hours, because as you know, 2 hours of you is never enough. Let me know i’m free monday or tuesday, anxiously awaiting your reply..Fred I paraphrased that, because I can’t remember it precisely. Anyway when I found this email I was devastated, and broke up with him. Then he kept showing up at my house apologizing, till I eventually took him back. Because I knew that nothing psychical went down between them. Camilla is an awful flirt, but I know she doesn’t really like Fred, she just goes along with all guys flirting because she likes the attention. Then almost a year went by with no flare ups, and one day Fred and I were on his computer doing homework for college, and a noticed a picture of Camilla. I said what is that doing on her, and Fred said It’s only one picture don’t worry about it However being curious as I am, I did a search of Camilla on his computer, and found a hidden folder with at least 50 pictures of her, and a couple pictures of naked models that slightly resembled her, (not really but I guess he thought so), and wedding rings. He told me the wedding rings were old, and so were some of the pictures (back from when they used to date) however I noticed some of the pictures to be new.Now I know this all seems like a lot of crap, but in between those events we have had a very loving relationship, I have actually really been wanting to marry Fred. And he tells me he loves me as well, and there’s nobody else now. He says he’s over Camilla now, but I can’t seem to trust him because of all the lying he’s done in the past.What is your advice on this? Is Fred full of shit, is he not over Camilla? or Should I stay with him after all this and try to trust him? And why does he stay with me, yet still flirts with Camilla?Thank you so much, if you can share advice you’d be helping a problem that has plagued me for two years!