Divorce from a kid’s perspective: Hard Truth

Divorce continues to affect others.  It affects children and adults.  God intended for marriage to be one man to one woman for life.  Sin entered the world through the fall of Adam and Eve.  In the Old Testament, yes, men had multiple wives, but that was the result of sin.  In the New Testament, polygamy persisted, but that was the result of sin.

Now, I’m not writing that there is a huge problem with polygamy in the U.S. today, but I am writing to remind us all that the original intent was one man and one woman for life.  Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a commitment.  Those vows we took enter us into a relationship with someone for life.  We took them before God and witnesses for a purpose.  The hard part is to understand that cultural change and tolerance does not change these facts.  I believe that there is a time or two when any marriage could end.  These times call for a drastic commitment to stay together throughout the struggles, whatever they may be.  This kind of love is rare in today’s society, but it is the deepest, most significant kind of love available.  It calls a spade a spade, a blue sky a blue sky, and love…love.  Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a commitment.

Now, are you any less of a person for looking over at your spouse, realizing the pounds that have been added, the ticks and foibles that grate on your nerves, and missing that spark that once existed between the two of you?  The answer is a resounding, “NO!”  Everyone eventually has a feeling like this.  The challenge is to let your integrity overcome your emotions.  The further challenge is to realize your contribution to the problem and to work toward re-introduce that spark back into your marriage.  (There are numerous Christian books on the market that suggest healthy ways to liven up your marriage.)

Christ died for you…warts and all.  The church is compared to the bride of Christ.  Marriage is upheld as an example of Christ’s love for His church.  Conversely, we are to exemplify this love by loving one another as Christ loved us…without strings attached…warts and all.

It’s not easy to digest all of this in a time of trouble.  I do not hold on the fallacy that this little book will change the world.  I do, however, know that if you’ve read this far, you are struggling with the truth that is contained within these pages.  Think about your commitment to your spouse and family.  Think about Christ’s commitment to you.  How do you measure up compared to His commitment?  That’s the measuring rod in this struggle.

You will find reasons to justify leaving.  You will find friends who will encourage you to leave.  You will find excuses and diversions.  You will want desperately to feel good about leaving, but there is something inside of you that knows that it’s wrong.  That something is the truth of God’s love for you through Christ.  That voice is the Holy Spirit whispering the truth.  The world may speak louder, but it’s your turn to tune in to the truth.

The true measure of your maturity will be in your decisions to maintain your integrity.  What did you promise?  What are you going to fulfill?  It’s a hard choice unless you’re committed instead of acting on emotion.  The world is screaming to take the easy way out, while God’s voice is whispering to uphold what you know in your heart to be true.

Kevin Garrett
onyourmark@bellsouth.net
http://www.facebook.com/kevinleegarrett